There are many reasons why a sex life is healthy. Whether for procreation, relationship affirmation, or just for fun, sex is normal, healthy, nurturing, often therapeutic, and usually emotionally satisfying. It is also healthy for your overall mental health especially for people who suffer from depression, anxiety, and chronic illness and chronic pain. For most people, it is the overall joy and excitement that sex brings to them.
Why is a sex life important?
A sex life is important because it can help bring intimate relationships closer together. It can also act as a self-esteem booster. Sex is just as important as our general physical and mental health. It is part of our identity and it is the source of desire, arousal, and eroticism. Prioritizing sex is important because it is all about connecting pleasure to our body’s wants and desires. Sex is powerful in making one feel alive. It can add a sense of connectedness to the world or to each other. It can heal a sense of emotional isolation so many of us feel even though we are socially integrated. Sex helps lay the foundation of body acceptance and it is an antidote to pain, both emotional and physical.
What are your best tips for improving your sex life?
Communication: Sex at its heart is all about communication. It is important to get curious about your partner and get creative with your sex. You want to use assertive communication where you state what you need, but you are also curious about your partner needs. This is a great intimacy builder. It is important to be sexually empathetic with your partner because this improves communication and sexual generosity. The most difficult piece about sexual communication is figuring out where and how to begin. Start with how sex makes you feel. It is also helpful to discuss your turn-ons and your turn-offs with your partner. Also, discuss parts of your body you want to be touched and the parts you do not want to be touched.
The superpower of touch: I recommend exploring your body and finding what brings you pleasure. Masturbation/solo sex is a great way to explore and appreciate your body. This helps build your sexual self-esteem, and you can share with your partner what brings you pleasure.
Exploring Eroticism and Fantasies: Sexual fantasies can be personal and often, people may not want to share them. However, there are advantages of sharing your sexual fantasies because your partner may find them erotic, and it can reduce feeling shame because your partner is validating your erotic imagination. This can be fun, and it can certainly spice up your sex life. In addition, it promotes honesty in a relationship. Having an intimate check in with each other is a great way to share a sexual fantasy or interests especially if you are thinking about ways to improve your sex life.
For exploring your fantasies, I would start small. For example, telling your partner to be naked when you arrive home from work may be too much. Instead, ask if they would be willing to wear something sexy at first. Add on slowly by asking remove to remove another piece when you arrive home. This can be fun and erotic. Also, take turns with erotic surprises because this can add novelty in the relationship. Curiosity about your partner and getting creative with them can be a game changer in a relationship.
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