Why Summer Love Feels So Intense and How to Know If It Can Last Beyond the Season

“Summer romances thrive in the heat of possibility, long nights, fewer responsibilities, and that intoxicating mix of freedom and novelty,” says Dr. Lee Phillips, a sex therapist in NYC who also offers online therapy for individuals and couples. “The sun makes everything feel sexier, riskier, and more alive. Summer love is nature’s way of saying, "take a chance.”

Summer has a unique way of breaking routines and opening up opportunities for connection. The long days invite more time outside, vacations create unexpected adventures, and a sense of spontaneity takes over. Many people report that they feel more confident and playful in warmer weather, which can lead to taking chances they might not in other seasons. This combination of factors heightens emotions and creates the perfect environment for new relationships to blossom quickly.

Why Many Summer Romances Do Not Last

“Vacation flings are like fireworks,” Dr. Lee explains. “They are bright, exciting, and memorable, but not always meant to burn forever. When real life hits, that summer spark must be nurtured intentionally. Fantasy fades quickly without effort.”

A summer romance often exists in its own bubble. Days feel longer, obligations are lighter, and everything feels more exciting when the only focus is on fun and connection. But once work schedules, bills, and responsibilities return, that easy flow can be disrupted. Without clear communication and effort, what felt natural in July may feel like hard work by September. This does not mean summer love is doomed, but it does mean you have to be intentional about bringing that energy into your everyday life.

How to Tell the Difference Between a Fling and Forever

Dr. Lee says, “If your connection endures beyond sandy sheets and sunset cocktails, then you know it might be the real deal. The actual test of a summer romance is how it feels in sweatpants, not just swimsuits.”

The truth is that anyone can have fun when the environment is designed for romance. Vacations, beach days, and summer parties set the stage for excitement and attraction. The real test of your relationship comes when the environment changes. If you can navigate small stresses together, make each other laugh on an ordinary Tuesday, and still feel connected when the magic of summer fades, you might have something worth building on. This is also where therapy or relationship coaching can help. Talking through what you both want for the future can create clarity and help you decide if the connection is strong enough to last.

About Dr. Lee Phillips

Dr. Lee Phillips is a nationally recognized sex therapist and relationship coach based in New York City. He has built a reputation for his warm, approachable style and his ability to help people feel comfortable discussing even the most sensitive topics. He is licensed in New York, Connecticut, Virginia, Maryland, Washington DC, and Florida, and offers both in-person and online sessions to accommodate busy schedules.

With more than 16 years of experience and certification as an AASECT sex therapist, Dr. Lee has worked with thousands of individuals and couples on issues related to intimacy, desire, and communication. His areas of expertise include sex therapy, relationship counseling, navigating chronic illness, kink-friendly and polyamorous relationships, and LGBTQIA+ affirming care. He also hosts the popular podcast Sex and Chronic Illness, which focuses on breaking down the myths surrounding sexual health and relationships for people living with illness.

How Dr. Lee Can Help You Strengthen Your Relationships

Working with a skilled therapist can make a huge difference in whether a relationship thrives or fades. Dr. Lee offers a variety of services designed to help clients improve their emotional and sexual wellness:

• Individual therapy that uses psychodynamic and mindfulness-based techniques to help you explore your needs, boundaries, and desires

• Sex therapy to address concerns such as low desire, performance anxiety, sexual trauma, or difficulty communicating about intimacy, all in a supportive and nonjudgmental space

• Relationship and couples therapy for monogamous, non-monogamous, polyamorous, LGBTQIA+, and ethically kinky partnerships

• Sexual wellness coaching that focuses on the present and future, helping you build confidence, communicate more effectively, and cultivate a satisfying intimate life

  
  

Sessions are 45 minutes and can be held virtually or in person for those in the NYC area. Dr. Lee also offers a free consultation so you can get a feel for his style and see if it is a good match for your goals.

Make This Summer Love Last

Whether you met on vacation, at a rooftop party, or during a spontaneous beach trip, the question remains: can your summer romance evolve into a long-term relationship? The key is intention. When you put in the effort to nurture your connection, the spark that began in the heat of summer can grow into something even more meaningful.

Dr. Lee Phillips is here to help you explore what you truly want in your relationships and build the skills to make it happen. With humor, compassion, and a deep understanding of intimacy, he can guide you toward creating stronger connections with yourself and your partner.

Book your free consultation with Dr. Lee Phillips today and take the first step toward a love that lasts all year long.